We wanted to find a way to share more about lived experiences of deafness, and when our Parent Liaison Officer, Cheryl McBride, offered to tells us her story we jumped at the chance! Below she tells us about growing up deaf, her experience of school and working life, having a cochlear implant and how she came to work for Lollipop.
If reading this inspires you to share your experiences please get in touch with Becky: admin@lollipopyork.org.uk
Hi, my name is Cheryl, but my friends and family call me ‘Cher’. I’m 56 years old I was born in Stockport, near Manchester on a quite remote farm called ‘Nabwood Cottage’. In those days it was the norm to be born at home!
It was 1973 when I was four and I was diagnosed as profoundly deaf, having been back and forward to doctors and hospitals about why I couldn’t speak. Our family GP simply quoted ‘she’s just bit lazy and will eventually talk when she’s ready’. My parents were not taken seriously when they knew something was medically wrong. It was only confirmed when my uncle, my mum’s brother intervened and took me to a private doctor who was a professor at University of Manchester – Dr McCormack – confirmed it after a series of hearing tests! He supported my family and wanted to help. I owe it to Dr McCormack that I was able to lead a normal life and be able to communicate.
I kept in touch with him by writing letters (we didn’t have emails back then!) and met up with him when I was in my early 20’s. He was so happy and emotional to see how I turned out, he said to me ‘you will do well in life and be a great role model for future deaf children’ – how right he was.
I started to attend a school for the deaf in 1976, Royal School for the Deaf. I loved it there and made lots of friends, and still to this day I’m still in touch with them. Unfortunately, my parents were told that I would be better off at a hearing school with PHU (which stands for Partially Hearing Unit) with a Teacher of the Deaf, as I was too clever and far advanced than the others. I didn’t do well in the mainstream school because there were no Teaching Assistants or Communication Support in the classroom, PHU was only for when I had had to do speech therapy and get my hearing aids checked out.
I never attended college as there was no communication support in 1986 when I left school. My dream was to be an air hostess and I was devasted to be told ‘no you cannot be one as because of your deafness, health and safety and foreign languages is something only hearing people can do.’ I ended up going to Youth Training Scheme (YTS) and did administration which was mainly typing, filing and photocopying. The rest of my youth was a struggle finding jobs, I was frustrated and angry as I wanted to be independent and have my own money, not to be told ‘no you can’t do this because you are deaf’ – how times have changed.
I moved from Manchester to York in 2013 where I met my current partner Jason, who is also deaf and is a Trustee of Lollipop. He has two boys 17 and 19, both deaf and were members of Lollipop. I have two daughters, 29 and 22 who are CODA’s (children of deaf adults) they grew up with deaf parents, their dad and I both used BSL and speech. We are so lucky to have such supportive daughters who understand the frustrations and barriers that we face every day.
After moving to York, I made new deaf friends and was welcomed into the deaf community. I was moved by how friendly everyone was. I needed to find work and I was in my early 40’s with only office and retail experience. I wanted to work with deaf children and adults. It was when Jason’s boys were attending a Lollipop activity that I came across this wonderful charity, and I met lovely deaf families, whom now I’m good friends with. I was impressed with the work Lollipop and the staff did. I decided to volunteer and I enjoyed seeing the joy and happiness on their faces because I was once in that position when I attended Stockport Deaf Club. I couldn’t wait for Fridays and begged my mum to take me to the deaf club so I could be myself and feel included and free to use BSL! I have some great memories from weekly meets up, parties, sports competitions, then eventually into my youth I started to go camping, going on trips and on days out.
My mother was very involved in the deaf community and wanted to raise some funds, she and other mums walked from Manchester to Blackpool. I remember the day I saw my mum in agony – I was probably 9 or 10 in the car with my uncle driving alongside her cheering her on. She was determined to reach the Blackpool Tower, and she did and raised a good amount of money. I was so proud of her!
A hurdle I had to deal with was finding out that my hearing had started to deteriorate very fast at 43. I got checked out by Audiology after I was complaining more about my tinnitus and not being able to hear, even with hearing aids. The audiologist showed me the graph of my results, and I was shocked, there was nothing more they could do but give me some information about cochlear implants. My partner had his done the year before me and I watched how it affected him and it put me off at first.
I didn’t like not being able to hear and missed hearing my favourite music and hearing my daughters’ and family voices. I decided to take the plunge and do it and it has opened my life. My parents and my uncle would have been so thrilled and amazed by this wonderful technology!
Two years later I was offered the position of Parent Liaison officer at Lollipop. I also started teaching training to become a BSL teacher and work in schools with deaf children. I attended York College, York St John University and did few extra courses to gain further qualifications, something I never thought I would be able to do because of my deafness, but I was determined as I had waited all my life to become the person I wanted to be.
I enjoy teaching young people and adults BSL and seeing them gain their qualifications, this brings me happiness as I know myself and the deaf community need support with communication. My only regret was not becoming a teacher in my 20’s, but I was told that I couldn’t do it and I believed it sadly. Now I tell all the young deaf children and young people…yes, you can! I’m the proof.
I love my job as Parent Liasion Officer, I enjoy organizing, booking Interpreters and attending activities making sure everyone is happy.
I get to meet the parents and their children and answer any questions they may have. The team I work with are fantastic and they do tireless work and effort to make Lollipop successful and give the children and young people the recognition they deserve! Also, making sure I’m included, for example, we have weekly team meetings online and I have an interpreter to translate the conversation.
I look forward to watching Lollipop grow and hopefully one day a deaf person will step into my shoes when I retire and carry on the work I am doing, and be a role model too.
